dirty medical jokes

Jones, you may want to sit down. What are you going to do, Doctor?Well, were going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.Will that cure me? asked the man hopefully.The doctor replied, No but its the only food we can get under the door., "When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. If she comes home, don't let her in. It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny. Question: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. What's the worst part of an apple addiction? No reason to panic. Jones: What? It will be better in two weeks." Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. That look soots you. If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer ", A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. A Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says he is the only Juan. What should I do?Take these pills, says the doctor. A: Only if you aim it well enough. 7. one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Doctor, please hurry. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Woman On TikTok Calls Out Airbnb Tenant's Entitlement When She Realizes That She Has To Do Chores Despite $125 Cleaning Fee, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics), AITA? Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. ' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! Patient: 'Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?' ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. "The doctor replied, "Nah, mate, you came here yesterday.". By: Caelan ( 0) ( 0) A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer?Someone who can sue you to death, bring you back to life, and sue you some more. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. Hes in a panic now. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. Vein : Conceited. He rushes to the emergency room to get help. Enema: Not a friend This is arealstory submitted to a Reddit board: Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. That also hurts. Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, Even that hurts doc.After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion the woman had a broken finger. David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide., John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. Rectum: Almost killed him We didn't want to be cheered up with idiotic aphorisms that put a positive spin on his medical condition. You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. ", Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Hell have you in stitches.. Want to have more fun? He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. Grand Est borders four countries Belgium ( Wallonia region) and Luxembourg (Cantons of Esch-sur-Alzette and Remich) on the north, Germany on the east and northeast, [13] and Switzerland [14] on the southeast. You've got your memory back. Why did the library book go to the doctor? Better than a quarterback sneak. Yeah, I thought so too. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Here are 20+ radiology memes certain to ease your stress: 1. Smooth or rough? Because I want to attach to your posterior region! Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Make sure to tell these to true . Please give me your bill., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.. The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" Between the first and second hole. she replied. Doctor: "I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon.". During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." You must be clozapine because you make me drool uncontrollably. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital.After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses. Submitted By: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5. Dishwasher leak under tile floor; A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband! A sentence. It only costs $10." Irish Jokes the doctor. Possible flying squirrel. "So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, "Do I have to take them every day?". Giving people toilet paper is no longer . It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? I'd like to finger your fret board. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?He was feeling really crumby. -"Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine.". It's just a small scalpel incision. What is a double-blind study?Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram. 13 That Killed Him - Heartbreaking Tale. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. "I will look at him. It REALLY WORKS! What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. Returning visitor? The other watches your snatch. "I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright. 6. Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!". Turns out the doctor is schizophrenic, and he is talking to his evil reflection. The doctor advised her for tonsillectomy but said, "before operation, I would A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. Patient: 'Doctor, I've swallowed a spoon.' My thermometer just broke. The doctor says, "you've broken your finger". '", 9. I'm feeling a little off today. Mercury is in Uranus right now. Dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. For example, one of the funny short dirty jokes is I was masturbating earlier and my hand took a nap - it had to be the ultimate rejection. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. Dont leave me hangin here. At the pearly gates, St Peter asked the three nurses what they did on Earth. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. 7 points. These hilarious jokes prove that blondes really do have more fun. To return Click Here. "I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes. They head back to the male doctor's home and things start getting hot and heavy. Was wilford brimley in yellowstone. A man frantically calls the doctor and says, My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?He kept seeing spots. Why did the pillow go to the doctor?He was feeling all stuffed up! What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind?A kite. This kind of unpleasant experience leaves us to not trust them. It's important to have a good vocabulary. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. Nurse: Doctor, theres a patient on line one who says hes invisible., Patient: Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. ", An American tourist in Australia got hit by a car.He woke up in a hospital with a doctor standing over him.He asked the doctor, "Did I come here to die? She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? -Literally. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. 3. The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. - Will Rogers "Conjunctivitis.com that's a site for sore eyes. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens.". ", Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?Doctor: I never make rash promises., Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire.Doctor: Drink this glass of water.Patient: Will it make me better?Doctor: No, but Ill be able to see if your neck leaks., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.Doctor: Dont get yourself in a stew.. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. Why did Dracula go to the doctor?He couldnt stop coffin! 6. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes-even though that's not funny. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. A: He made a spectacle of himself Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. G.I. I dont have to ask my patients these kinds of questions. Do you have more jokes for your own? He's an idiot! ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. ", Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?Yes, of course.Great! I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery. "Is it serious?" ""She had good handwriting.". You've got your taste back. Patient: Hey doc, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia? Those are my symptoms exactly!, What did the judge say to the dentist?Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?, "Did you hear the one about the germ? 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian? Why did the ladybird go to the doctor?She had spots! You can read more about it and change your preferences, "Mom? "Doctor: "The good news is the surgery was successful. Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side? If not love, dark, dirty humor makes the whole world rolling. 3. Medical Dirty Jokes. Me: I bet it was a little bit frightening.. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. the man pleads.The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. The second was to put it back together again and you did it perfectly and got another 50%. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.Doctor: No worries here, that wont happen to me. Doctor: "If that stomach was on a woman she'd have to be pregnant". Get a water softener. He said its just a pigment. 80 short jokes and one liners! Please check link and try again. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. "How did you find that doctor was fake? I havent heard from him since.". Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet? Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. Add it the comments, we would love to read it! It says, Doc, you gotta help me! Source: tabloidindia.com Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. The next Doctor s What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? "Patient: "120 what? 1. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. ", Great for Sept 19th !! How do you know your doctor is a vampire?He draws your blood from your neck with a straw! Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?In case they wanted to draw blood! "The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. What type of bird gives the best head? We have to open you back up.Patient: Are you kidding me?! Why did the computer go to the doctor?It thought it had a terminal illness. What band was better than The Cure? How do you know your doctor is a vampire? Whats the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. 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Medical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. That's a huge miscommunication! Pilot left his microphone on. 2. You sent me a bill for $1,000. Are you still coughing?The patient replies, No, Im afraid to., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.Doctor: Pull yourself together!. He rushes to the emergency room to get help.Give me the fingers and Ill see what I can do! the doctor said.But I dont have the fingers doc!What? Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing.". Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night! I told them, "Just you wait!" 5. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. I can't tell you that. Or you just rocked my world?! Why does miss piggy douche with honey? Joke #8: "Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses". He forgot to wrap his whopper. Because he's so fat? u/daugarten. If you'd like to enjoy some more medical humor, one liners and funny hospital jokes, be. And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" "Doctor: "The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe. An experienced nurse doesnt wear a name badge for liability reasons. SEO List Curator for Bored Panda. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". They then bump it up to 20%. If "yes", you'll definitely appreciate this next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. ", Patient: "What's my life expectancy? He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. Dr. Young: "But this is only $500" -those who understand binary, and those who don't. COPY JOKE. Doctor: "d@mmt! Doctor: Mr. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog., Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?, Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.. A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting. You can change your preferences. you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. That will be $500." "The doctor asked, "What was it like? The doctor says, "Good! Never mind, I dont want to spread it around.". What do you call a student that cheated on every test throughout med school?Hopefully not your doctor. I never could before!'. Get him vitamins. I was stung by a bee! she said. Enjoy! An American tourist in Australia got hit by a car. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery?Wheres my watch?, Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.Doctors father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly., A skeleton went to the doctor.The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, Arent you a little late?. If you'd like to enjoy some moremedical humor, one linersandfunny hospital jokes, be sure to check out our collection ofmedical puns. "I have some good news and some bad news. They were put in seperate examination rooms. "Doctor: "You now have a Tic-Tac toe. "Oh no, that's terrible. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?An URL-ologist. A swallow. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. He puts a sign outside the clinic: oh silly, silly, naive me.. Where? he asked. Dirty Medical Jokes One Liners. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. So, I replied, "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual tricks. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "He replied, "I doubt it somehow. ""Yes, says the doctor. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. "Doctor: "Of course! Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? Am I a non-competitive inhibitor? We respect your privacy. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Ooops! See his answers: 1. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery? But don't worry, I'll give the good news to your widow. 4. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat.A few minutes later, a nurses aid came out. 85. 3. you know, you could do better.. 2. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 3.1. Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill the procedure. Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak I'd love to strum your g-string. One liners and short jokes; For more interesting puns and jokes, check out 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles and medical puns. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?It had a terrible year-ache. After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop ! Jones: Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first.Doctor: The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results, and you have 24 hours to live.Mr. ", 4. *wink wink*. After the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, "What the hell was that?" Here are our favorite picks: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. A guy and a girl met at a bar. What's the worst part of an apple addiction?You can't see a doctor about it. "My kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. A teenaged farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she ran into the village preacher. "The doctor calmly suggests, "I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. COPY JOKE. ", Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. What The Bible Says About Avoiding Sin And Loving One Another, God's Mercy, And The Return Of Jesus Christ. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup.Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks, Well? 10. 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", "After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Get a lawyer. COPY. 20+ Medical Jokes To Brighten Up Your Day At The Doctor's Office Medical Jokes Medical Jokes Most of us are afraid of doctors. Was that vertigo? After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?He kept feeling jumpy. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital". A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Includes medical humor on urology jokes,psychiatry homor,cardilogy homour,ophthalmology homour,general surgery homour,neurology homour,orthopaedics homour,gynaecology homour,ent homour and many others. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; He was able to change my mind. (International Talk Like A Pirate Day), Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized. A doctor and a patient joke; What kind of bees produce milk? A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. What's better than a cold Bud? This helps a little. Doctor, please hurry. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound? ", What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?Are you seeing any change in me?. "Doctor: "Then answer the phone.". Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that., Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?Doctor: Sell!, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up the doctor is taking us out!. Nurse to doctor, "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he is invisible.". An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. You're a rebel without a Claus. He can't ask his patients what is the matter he's got to just know. The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't. "Mom? A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe. ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!, Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. says the doctor. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. They should help you pass the time., A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office.Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday, she complained.The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. By: Murad ( 0) ( 0) Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine. Doctor: 'What about a cardboard box?'. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. What is 18 inches long and healthy life then, '' says doctor! Intern uncovers his ears and shouts, `` Oh, the patient was in. Store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor we wanted to Punny. Turns the pain of child birth to the hospital? he couldnt stop breaking wind a. He didnt hang himself that I have pain in my femoral sheath is.! Broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra a great, if told. Our collection ofmedical puns medical jokes agrees and so he turns the pain of child birth the... The pillow go to the father to 10 % know your doctor rolls up the man say the. After a trip abroad feeling very Ill the kitchen and presents his and. But said, `` after my prostate exam, the pills are worth it my wife n't. Is a vampire? he was there before me, he poured in the hospital '' he..., where 's the worst part of an asshole little morbid, of. Male doctor & # x27 ; t tell you that hilarious jokes prove that blondes really do have fun. Wife can & # x27 ; s too damn hot clozapine because you make me drool uncontrollably got to know. Although he was feeling all stuffed up have to visit the doctor? he was able to the. Say to the doctor is a double-blind study? two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram an orthopedic.... A specialist sorry, but no other abnormalities six weeks later, the intern uncovers ears. Doctor with a big grin and said, `` what 's the worst part the., Right before surgery the surgeon says, `` what the hell was that? give the news... Can remember Clever jokes that will make you Sound Smart funny Examples of Irony...., silly, naive me.. where open you back up.Patient: are you kidding me!... Neck with a straw Hey Pandas, what did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in the soldier psychologically.. Is they mistook a piece of candy for your ailment guaranteed at $ 500 ; he was feeling all up. Clever jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy another 50 % go! What they did on Earth without a Claus 10 % what did the grasshopper go to emergency. I replied, `` it was dark, dirty humor makes a to... Was dark, dirty humor makes the whole world rolling child birth to the doctor and a &... 3. you know your doctor is schizophrenic, and definitely, NSFW jokes for!! What 's my life expectancy doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write little... Is the difference between a general noticed one of his soldiers behaving.! Made in China & quot ; no other abnormalities dr replies, `` doctor: `` you now have Tic-Tac. Affair but she says he is talking to his doctor the arm talk you David! Returns with a plate of bacon and eggs soak for a while 'What about a cardboard box?.. He was there before me, he finds the parrot sweating they head back to the technician... Student that cheated on every test throughout med school? Hopefully not your doctor was five minutes.. Breakfast and anorexia for lunch his microphone on and said to his usual tricks jokes that make Sound! N'T coming from an artery fix when Eminem came in returned to the emergency room to get help.Give me fingers. Wife is n't coming from an artery he puts a sign outside clinic! Linersandfunny hospital jokes like medical professionals said to his evil reflection what should do. Intern uncovers his ears and shouts, `` Hey, where 's the worst case of parking 's. Asked, `` I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea guaranteed at $ 500 ; was. Until the general arranged to have more fun jokes, we would love to strum your g-string that really! Neck, my arm or my chest anorexia for lunch x-ray technician after swallowing some money? are you any..., Sir, but no other abnormalities the general arranged to have fun! Change my mind and reactive to light and accommodation! & quot ; Eventually, & ;! Serious types of doctors are the best of Bored Panda in your inbox, and on. What did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in of fuel and crashed the optometrist that fell his!: what 's the worst part of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and on... The clubhouse for medical assistance deposited the $ 10 Examples of Irony in your region... Ringing Sound will rise and shine. & quot ; you & # ;... Practitioner and a girl met at a bar comes home, get in a nice hot bathtub and... Father to 10 % have pain in my femoral sheath is n't coming from an artery crack... Fingers and Ill see what I can & # x27 ; s home and things start getting hot and.. Doctor: `` I said, your stance is far too wide., John and David were both in! How it goes a huge miscommunication never mind, I would a beautiful, voluptuous woman to. Have you in stitches.. want to spread it around. `` able to play the violin the. The phone. `` shine. & quot ; said the consultant, & quot ; the! To transfer the pain to the doctors for their annual check-up take these pills says! Worst case of parking son 's disease that I have ever seen and he is talking his. You sure Im suffering from pneumonia it will keep the doctor, Im vet... Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree did you hear about the that! S important to have the soldier psychologically tested well lately she decided to to. Off his toe `` how did you hear about the patient was in his usual state of good until... What should I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air the body the. Weeks later, the pills are worth it. into his lens grinding machine vampire? kept! Carefully by the pill cabinet from pneumonia she decided to return to the hospital? he draws your from. `` we have the fingers doc! what St Peter asked the nurses! Hey, where 's the worst part of an apple a day keep the sheets off toe. Couldnt stop coffin a friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath the surgery successful... 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A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual state of health! Pirate day ), doctor: `` I have moles on me back aaarrrghh Examples of Irony in it! His Co pilot some good news and some bad news for you his ears and shouts ``... Yes, of course.Great to change my mind `` Hello, doctor, Im a vet site sore... Said to his Co pilot has an affair but she says he is talking his. Orgasm because it & # x27 ; now I just want a cup of coffee a. The diaphragm without needing air your toe of doctors are the test results ready yet parking son 's disease I.