She had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a year after we met. I did kundalini yoga in the morning, a practice that was built around a great deal of rapid breathing, and then I went on to other things. I could have forgotten Sooki altogether in that moment, because even though I followed her story with interest, it was one of many stories. Anything thats happened to me, any adversity, any good times, any bad times, Ive always kind of stood on that rock of faith. She told me she had gained back the twenty pounds shed lost after the last chemo but she couldnt have weighed a hundred pounds now. It took me a few weeks to figure this out but soon I could track it, the way her voice got quieter, the way she was less likely to look me in the eye. Our house was a holding pattern, a neutral space without expectation where all that mattered was her recovery. When she came upstairs ready to go she was wearing the black-velvet coat with the peonies on it. She looked at me. Born to Burton and Miriam Raphael, Sooki grew up in Port Chester, NY and graduated from Hampshire College. SANTA MONICA, CA.-. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. It's by Ann Patchett. When they called, she asked them all the right questions. I was trying to read her lips. There are no words here, I thought. When her white count was too low to get treatment, she would run up and down the stairs at the hospital, down from the seventh floor to the first and back up again, over and over, and then get retested. It had been more than two years since I met Sooki in a theater in Washington. On the few mornings she didnt come up at her usual time, I imagined her sick, needing something, not telling me because she didnt want to bother me. Im a good packer. She told me she had packed for good cheer, having had the reasonable expectation that times would be hard and cheer a necessity. The title essay focuses on Patchett's friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant, who spent the early months of quarantine in Patchett's Nashville home while receiving. Its so amazingly generous of Karl, she whispered uncertainly. What about your sisters? I asked. Forget about the heartfelt letters. My whole life Ive wanted this time. When Patchett connected with Tom Hanks, who is a fellow author and book lover (among other things! I dont take notes. This is a great read. The press release is about to go out. I sat there and watched her read, waiting for something more, something that explained it. Your hike looks gorgeous and loaded with spiritual component. I caught an early flight home. We did this to ourselves, I said, or maybe I didnt say it. I dont want you to feel like you have to stay downstairs, I said. I would bring her stacks of art books from the closed bookstore and she all but ate them. I dont drink. In a heartfelt tribute, Wilson told followers about the lovely artist that was her dear friend and shared some of her vibrant paintings. I was introduced to Tom Hankss editor, Tom Hankss agent, his publicist, his assistant, Tom Hanks himself. I have to feel like Im contributing. That woman was author Ann Patchett whom she first met backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. Sooki had gone to work for the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs right out of college. In the titular essay, Patchett reflects on her serendipitous friendship with Sooki Raphael. I had come late to pandemic shopping, but fortunately the staples I relied onchickpeas, coconut milkwere still plentiful. Want to change your email address or password? The essays, even when they are nominally about something else, are about the weight and grief of relationships: with her father and two stepfathers, her best friend, her husband and, improbably, actor Tom Hanks' assistant, a woman named Sooki with whom Patchett develops a deep bond. I did a Pilates DVD we never got around to. Maybe I would find the fight in me, but I was never much of a fighter. Karl looked up the name for it on his phone. I should have thought of that one myself. If I can borrow your car, Ill drive back to the airport., I shook my head. God damn it, get inside, I said to my husband. Ill send photos from San Diego. No doubt if Tom Hanks and Ann Patchett believe their friend to possess such wonderful qualities, she probably is a saint. But all Sooki did was help me. Sooki wore a leash as a child, the energy in her tiny frame too much for her mother to control. The paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, impossible colors leaning into one another. Then, we ended up staying in touch very lightly - you know, an email every month or two. The price of living with a writer was that eventually she would write about you. Jennie and I walked our dogs together after dinner, and Sooki came with us most nights, unless she had a phone call to return, unless she wasnt feeling up to it. She started a kids clothing business. I didnt say, Your death. PET scans) were showing no sign of disease. There she was in the doorway, outlined in neon tubing. It was as if 98percent of her hair had fallen out, but somehow in the process, it had felted. You must have Mary Poppinss suitcase.. Even if it wasnt a perfect plan, it was better than doing nothing. Although his superhero mother will not get to see him play in the NFL, Farley will take many lessons he learned from her and apply them to whatever challenges he faces in life moving forward. I was interested in her children. But months later there he was again. I floated upstairs in a world that would not stop changing. Farley announced the news of his opt-out in an Instagram video saying, in part, I cannot afford to lose another parent or loved one Though the competitor in me badly wants to play this season, I cannot ignore whats going on in my heart, and I must make the decision that brings me the most peace., 2021 NFL Draft Prospect Caleb Farley Tells SurvivorNet His Mom Was Like a Superhero Before She Lost Her Battle with Breast Cancer; Heres What Got Him Through. She wasnt about to tell me she looked good, but it was clear what I was talking about. feb. 7, 2020: When last we typed you were on your way to Stanford for a second opinion. Coping after the loss of a loved one to cancer is never going to be an easy journey. My friend told us we should wear eye masks and cover ourselves with blankets. We did up dog and down dog in endless repetition. There was no reason to offer unsolicited opinions on a subject I knew nothing about to a person who had just gotten into my car, but the thought of a frozen gel pack on my own head struck me as boundless misery. Susan Joan "Sooki" Raphael of Topanga, CA passed peacefully on April 25th surrounded by friends, family, color, light, joy, and love. Born to Burton and Miriam Raphael, Sooki grew up in Port Chester, NY and graduated from Hampshire College. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. Accuracy and availability may vary. ANN PATCHETT: Aw, Mary Louise. You understand that other people dont live this way?. I had gotten up in the dark to make stacks of sandwiches. He thanks me for it. Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. Given Patchetts astonishing gifts as a storyteller, others embraced it but with reservations. She made wedding cakes that tasted as good as they looked. Surely there were sadder things, but none of them came to mind. What was the line of childrens clothing called? He walked me through the publishing process: being thrilled by acceptance, ignoring reviews and then having the dream of bestsellerdom dashed What mattered was that you knew how to love the job.. But I cant just live with you and Karl for the rest of my life.. As the number spiked this week at 1700 U/L, I ran out of excuses, and my PET scan on Wednesday showed a return of the cancer to my liver. I was told that although not everyone wanted to commit to having the tattoos, it was the most accurate way to align the radiation field that had been so meticulously laid out by a team of physicists working alongside my radiation oncologist. And so when I looked up dressing, you know, it says, start with a loaf of day-old bread and make cubes. Still, it seemed possible I could get off the ride early by expelling the mushrooms. He was in Nashville. PATCHETT: Yeah. First the tornadoes, Sooki said, taking picture after picture, the giant root systems pulling up slabs of earth taller than Karl, the bright spring grass meeting the sidewalk at right angles. I felt the car pulling up and up, just about to tip over the cresting track. I was overcome by a sense of order in the world: if I hadnt picked up that book, if I hadnt gone to D.C., if we hadnt stayed in just enough contact for her to tell me a year after the fact that she had cancer, and if I hadnt mentioned it to Karl, she wouldnt have found her way to the only clinical trial in the country that both matched her cancer and could take her immediately. Travel while staying at home! Dont worry about it, Tavia said. I was convinced it wouldnt show up and embarked on a full-scale exploratory mission into holistic healing, prayer, juicing, yoga, meditation, sound waves, and magnetic magic (this last one, highly recommended by a friend, but in a clinic run by a reality-tv star). I think this is just the way I am, she said. Should I have woken them up and made them come down to the basement? I was an introvert again. This unfolds in your college dorm freshman year. And even when youre in the middle of it you can still get up and go to the bathroom. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? At her first meeting with Hanks, Patchett also met his personal assistant, Sooki Raphael, whose unusual evening coat, its huge peonies . And I had never done anything like that before. Sooki went with him every day. The ones Tom Hanks approved of were handed to me. Karl was seventy-two. 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