glee monologues santana

[Will writes "SEXY" on the board.] Copyright 2023 StudeerSnel B.V., Keizersgracht 424, 1016 GC Amsterdam, KVK: 56829787, BTW: NL852321363B01, all, thats why it didnt work out with you and Blaine, right? Oh, and I think those absorbent sweater vests . And Santana was not that. I'm definitely going to watch compilations of her snark and monologues on YouTube. Maybe Blaine didn't want to be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams. Cant I just have one night where Im queen?. Your bizarre, psychosexual obsession with that Glee Club was disturbing from the first moment you stalked a nude student in the showers. Maybe he got tired of watching And don't tell me it's 'cause the cafeteria food binds you up. I've had mono so many times it turned into stereo. With whose vagina? is a personal favorite. Santana: Look, we may still be Cheerios, but neither of us ever gave Sue the set list. Love to you, your family, your friends, and your sweet boy. Santana, Kurt, and Rachel, Guilty Pleasures. Is that an aspect of why this moment feels so awful because this is the first time were learning how to mourn this particular sort of loss? A profound loss. ), I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me). And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked into getting an eye de-slanting. Brittany: C'mon, we can't be mad at Rachel forever. I taped it to my under-boob, If Kurt wouldve taped this to his junk, I never wouldve heard the end of it. Maybe in junior college. NOTE: The following is a transcription of the extended director's cut from the S1 DVD, which includes several scenes not seen in the original aired version. I have been heartbroken over this. (and Brittana / Faberry fans can come at me, bro, but Quinntana is the ship that I will go down with). Santana: Are we dating or what? We can all be honest here, if a picture is worth a thousand words then that dress is worth a million dollars. And if you tell anyone this, I'll deny it - but I like being in Glee Club. Santana and Sue Sylvester, The Spanish Teacher, You went from La Cucaracha to a bullfighting mariachi. I love suckin on those salamander lips. Heres Naya Rivera, this Black Puerto Rican actress who fought so hard against the producers for Santanas coming out in the first place. Finn: What are you talking ab- Alright, you know what Rachel? Thank you, Finn, especially. Theres a brief moment after Kurt is elected prom queen as a cruel joke that Santana rushes out of the room crying. I was that kid at school for better or worse. Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. Rachel and Santana, The Power of Madonna. Anyway, a fun fact about me is that very faaaar into my messy baby gay years, when I was always running from someones bed to someone elses bed and heartbreak to heartbreak, Dixie Chicks Landslide came on at my favorite coffee shop while I was in line to order a hibiscus iced tea and vanilla iced latte. I mean, really, I'm sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Troubletones. Also, she thinks youre a spritely, green, mythological creature, but I know youre a potato-eating poser. I can sense it thanks to my psychic Mexican third eye. Most of this isn't mine anyway.". Bad things!). You are my first love. The Troubletones deserved their own spin-off. But I won't join without you. I got Sebastian on tape admitting there was rock salt in that slushie that blinded Blaine. Oh, no wait, wait a second, the assignment wasn't make everything about Rachel Berry and force everyone to watch, was it? I dont think people dont like it as much as they never think about it or talk about it, but it was one of my favorite covers they did. That show was messy, but as a baby gay, Santana was everythingggg. His hair's already starting to grow back. To be honest, I dont know if I wouldve done it if it hadnt been for the smallest detail, sort of blurred in the background, almost off frame theres not a single recap that Ive ever read that includes it, but theres a Dominican flag on Abuelitas refrigerator. Santana: Do you think this voodoo doll looks enough like Rachel Berry to actually work? As many of you know, I didnt watch Glee until earlier this year. Santana: Love stinks. And it worked. I'm pretty sure too. Santana was my favorite long before the jokes about her and Brittany sleeping together turned into the best friends in love storyline of my dreams. You're going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, maybe become a state senator, or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page. Look, my dad's a doctor, and not a tooth doctor, a real one. In doing so, they revealed a rarely-discussed but entirely valid coming out narrative. "WHAT?! Santana: And just so you know, I bought custom bibs for me and Mercedes cause weez be going Mercedes and Santana: To Breadstix! Im forever grateful that Glee didnt sidestep that. I always go to the yelling place. Glee is very concerned with this idea of the underdog. And Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel are the shows most prominent underdogs. Monologue - Glee Written by Ryan Murphy Santana: Maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. Maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes Santana after she sees Dave looking at Sam's butt, Born This Way. Escucha! You do play for another team.. you were on the Cheerios now you're only in the New Directions There exists a third version of the pilot, the screener version, with even more scenes cut from the aired version. But it actually lets silence tell its own story for a minute. I'm sorry, would you mind just stepping outside for a moment while I bitch-slap some sense into my friend? Did the writers think she was being bitchy when really she was just speaking the truth? No, kiss me! Her wrath of words is called Snix Juice. Unmatched sass and the best . From Season 6 Episode 3 "Jagged Little Tapestry", aired January 16th, 2015 I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs. Im gonna be an outsider my whole life. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (with the lyric changes!!) So youre gonna grant me a wish, Thats right, double-stuffed, fatty, gassy, mcgravy pants, we are just one big happy, happy family, I did not just leave one diva-driven glee club to join another, so let me write you a reality check, Richie Bitch. delivery time of a monologue may vary depending on your interpretation of the chosen piece. thats why it didnt work out, maybe it has nothing to do with me and Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: "the finger wag", "the shoulder shimmy" and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips. I just can't. Thank you so much. Rachel: Kurt and Adam are at NYADA. Thanks for this, TV team it feels much needed. Its hard to pick a favorite Santana solo, but I think its gotta be Songbird, for me, both for Santnas story arc and for Naya Riveras performance. She was truth to power, unafraid of confrontation, destruction when absolutely necessary. I love you a-and I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. Naya, Im sorry the world took you for granted. A way to stir shit up, often with Brittany by her side. Dave: I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl. Maybe Blaine didnt wanna be with someone who Its pure joy and when I think of Naya Rivera as Santana Lopez what I feel is joy. Santana: I've kissed Finn, and can I just say not worth a buck. Santana was harsh and mean and strong because she felt like she had to be. I dont know how! The fierce, confident, swaggering Santana having this quiet moment where her voice is actually quivering a little was so impactful. You can't make fun of Finn anymore. I'm from Lima Heights, I was raised on insults. Santana: (at Finn) You told her too? Santana to Mr. Schuester (about Quinn), Audition, Well, congratulations. And if there's any controversy that interferes with my presidential campaign, then I'll use one of my leprechaun wishes. I am loving this look on me. Kurt: She can't find out until after her Funny Girl audition, alright? Those are all the things I think about when I watch Santana strut down the theatres aisle singing (gasp!) And Naya really got to the heart of that pain in a way not many actors had done yet. What I realized What I realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. Brittany to Kitty, Guilty Pleasures. Quinn: You know, I have to say, Rosario, you are killing it in that dress. Oh yeah. I loved seeing her happy. What is this, hmm? Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen to pass to entertain exactly no one with, say, some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by another dead alcoholic crone. Were almost ten years later and Ill never forget her cadence as she says it, the hurt that flashes across her face. Now all we have to do is send this tape to the po-po and that little bitchlet is headed to juvie, Santana to New Directions about Sebastian, Michael, This isnt violent, this is clever. you drape yourself on every piano you happen past to entertain exactly no See I dont go here anymore, sue, and that means I can finally tell you exactly what I think of you. I dont have anything smart to say. As Santana Lopez, Naya Rivera beat odds, and she changed any previously conceived scripts about who people would care about in a mainstream teen dramedy they could care just as much about the Latina lesbian as they would about the white heterosexual leads. And it wasn't until I got to kindergarten that I learned my name wasn't Garbage Face. Santana: Lets just keep this on point. One time Becky Jackson left a piece of chocolate birthday cake on my chair and when I sat on it, it looked like I had pooped my pants, so Finn walked behind me until I could get out of school so no one saw my chocolate butt and thought I had messed myself. Santana: Maybe if you made me some space, I'd care a little bit more. Santana: You may look, like the villain out of a cheesy 80s high school movie, but you should know that Im fully prepared to go all Danny LaRusso on your ass. So why am I talking about this? It's like Eli Roth decided to make a gay horror movie, and this is the scene right before we eat each other. of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra. I will never understand why these things happen. I am so different from Santana in a lot of ways but Ive never felt so seen by a character than in that episode. If he doesnt get it then he doesnt deserve to have you as his campaign manager. Rachel: What did I do?? The details of my journey were pretty different from Santanas, but the feelings were the same. Santana: Gunther, thats my Yeast-I-Stat what the hell?? I have to just be me.. This is garbage. The way she delivered it, the hurt and desperation in her eyes. Its really different, but seeing another Latina women stand up for herself and her culture was so validating to my lived experiences. You are not my principal. No Brittany, you have no idea what it's like out there in the real world. Naya Rivera, who played Glee's resident mean girl Santana Lopez, recently spilled some tea in her new book Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes, and Growing Up. I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? It's okay. Wait was that supposed to say lesbian? Santana defending Blaine and Kurt from Dave, A Night of Neglect. Santana slaps Finn, Santana, Finn, Rachel and Will, Mash Off, When I get really pissed off, Santana gets taken over by my other evil personality. Santana: Oh yeah? Kurt: Oh, Gershwin song lines scavenger hunt! Cello guys can you hang back for a second, Im gonna need you for this one. feminine Quinn Fabray. The only straight I am is straight-up bitch. How did that marriage work out for you. Her hair pulled to one side. Maybe Blaine didnt wanna be with someo, obsession with old people that causes you to sk, you drape yourself on every piano you happen p, one with. Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I cant hear this song without thinking of the dozens of slow-mo gif sets circulating on Tumblr of Brittany and Santana circling each other, and I also cant hear it without breaking out in chills all over my body, from my toes to my brain. I think about that scene all the time. Brittany: OK. Puck's super fine. Santana: [smiles but then looks around] But, like, under a napkin. I counted the number of times youd smile at me, and Id die on days that you didnt. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Brittany: [smiles and holds Santana's hand] (bumps into him) Finn: Hey Santana! Santana: The truth about what? Here is Santana, this Caribea teenager, coming out to her abuela. Youre not doing that annoying half smirk as much as you used to, but youre still an idiot. Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, 'You know what, I don't wanna marry a sexless self-centered baton-twirler. Unmatched sass and the best . Our TV Team has spent the last two weeks reliving some of our favorite moments from Naya Riveras world-changing work on Glee. Im officially over it. And were lesbians. Those arent generic Latinx details. I'm like a lizard. Santana shatters your heart to pieces here. Naya as Santana as a happy lady with a yeast infection, inside a commercial, inside a phone shes holding to proudly share her triumph with Rachel. You're my family and I haven't lied to you in months. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). ". You are a horrible person who never had a nice word to say about Finn Hudson, so dont you dare think for a second that he didn't hate you, too! Brittany: I failed my precious unicorn. You look a little Jewish, right Rachel? Wait. ". You got a BOOB JOB. For me, she really was the true star of that show. Thank you for giving me this space to remember Naya and Santana. You know what? But I only watched it for Naya Rivera as Santana. Brittany: Mm hm. When I was 13 Glee was my entire world the show and the cast and their adventures swept me up in a frenzy, the way obsessions do with 13 year olds. Rachel: For the hundredth time, okay, if you keep making fun of Brody- My spouse and I have only gone to 1 event, Nik- this is the response that LW needed and I hope she sees it. I mean, if I was made out of plastic, I'd be scared of a lot of things too; open flames, barbeques, but then, I found this!This is a pager, my friends. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. The nervous, darting looks. This whole episode is legit queer culture. For your joy, for your talent, for teaching me how to be unapologetic about the things I love. glee monologues santana. Santana: You should be our nations president. How about we just get you an IPad.. you can't even get porn on whatever you just asked for. Do you know where she keeps it? I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers who might might mistake her for the endangered white rhino. Sam I am. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her. And like Santana, I was so tired. I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud! It was beautifully choreographed, perfectly sung, but also the layered acting was absolutely stunning. like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Homeless will be homeless for a while, that's sort of the problem. Sebastian: She questioned my honor. And clearly it wasnt only a favorite of mine, because Santana brought it back for another energetic take on it in their 100th episode to get Brittany back into dancing. She was right, and she mattered, even if she was just a teenager. I don't want to hear any of this "We can't do it without her," because guess what? They were my favorite grouping Glee ever did. I'm sick of being backup to Rachel Berry. I ordered shrimp! So what am I doing heading to Kentucky? [voiceover] Holy sweet hell! I may actually be dead right now. If Rachel wants my sloppy seconds she should at least know the truth. Santana: You wanna have a duel? But there are some smaller moments that I think are really worth remembering. (murmurs) Self-hating Asian. Santana: It's all a part of being a mentor. Rachel:Ok You know what Santana, Finn is in great shape and your meanness just highlights your own personal insecurities. I just try to be really, really honest with people when I think that they suck! Santana: Oh, I know! I wasn't gonna go and mess it up. As my cousin walked down the aisle in her handsome white tuxedo to meet her wife, my mother sang Songbird, their song of choice. Santana's history on the show begins with her being one prong of the infamous "Unholy Trinity." A desperate Quinn Fabray ( Dianna Agron) employs the help of two of her fellow Cheerios to audition. I mean my girlfriend girlfriend. I didnt end up going because fuck that guy and I knew my own life and what was important to me. Please say you love me back. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Can't I think about it for like a day? I hope Naya knew the impact she had, or she can at least see it now. But not this. A bunch of monologues from movies that you can try! Let me break it down for you, from one bitch to another. Santana and Puck imitating Finn and Rachel, The Substitute. It was invented by breeders to sell cheap chocolate and false hope. Santana: It is a Carrot Top convention. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen past to entertain exactly no one with. As we did, of course, we shared with each other over and over how her portrayal of Santana Lopez also changed our worlds. Santana: And you know what, Brit? Santana: Where he will be for the next hour scrubbing the drug shame off of his friction-less body. TINA: That's extraordinarily racist. WhyWhy am I even taking advice from you, okay. has something to do with it. You wont be forgotten. I was accepting myself and coming out along with Santanas storyline. out was so validating. the glee fandom was my solace during one of the lowest points in my life, and its so hard to articulate just how massive of an impact Naya as Santana had on me, on my friends, on lesbian representation on television as a whole, to people who didnt experience it or who arent part of the lgbtq+ community. Its one of the least flashy numbers, but one of the best. She serves Santana arroz morro with either lechn or bistec to eat.